Tag: Rosie Rambles

IW AU: How Things Start to Fall Apart

Posted on July 16, 2023 by qkzgirl

While Wally is still hiding in Home’s walls, silently convinced that his turning Invisible won’t matter to anyone, there are things happening outside that Home gets to see unfold. And they’re very unsure if they should be relaying it to Wally or not.

What Wally doesn’t know is that his disappearance, and the Audience’s inability to find him, does have an effect on everyone. It’s just not an immediate, obvious one.

His not coming out over the span of that week was a shift in everyone’s lives, one that sent ripples of unease through the neighbors.

The Schedule was built around Wally’s day after he left Home and while everyone was able to “fill in” the spots where he should have been without raising alarm, some of them still noticed that something (or rather someone) was missing.

I’m not sure who would be the first to really notice that something wasn’t right. But someone does and it triggers a domino effect for the rest of town.

The neighbors notice, Wally’s friends notice, it just takes a bit for them to go into motion.

As for the Audience…

Once they start harassing everyone else over their Script, things start to fall apart in short order. Unlike Wally, they weren’t self-aware prior to this event. They didn’t know about the script or that they weren’t really acting like themselves.

But suddenly, having this impossible Thing looming over them is very hard to ignore, with all its unspoken demands and fiercely trying to press its will on them. Add in Wally’s disappearance and the sudden awareness that there’s something there that hadn’t always been there, and it quickly becomes something they are not ready OR WILLING to deal with when their friend is missing/possibly in danger.

And, frankly, unlike the quiet, gentle painter of the Neighborhood, they aren’t as passive and easily usable.

(part of that was due to the Audience’s control over them all being something gradual. It didn’t snap into place all at once.)

They don’t know how to handle what’s happening (considering the idyllic nature of the world/place they live in) and they quickly spiral off script and break character like crazy once this new, unexpected pressure is applied to them. Because there isn’t a precedent for how they should be reacting to all of this.

Suddenly the unseen watcher is quickly losing control of them all and it really doesn’t like it.

Eventually, it throws a fit and, like a child throwing the mother-of-all-tantrums, it (accidentally) destroys its connection to the Neighborhood and releases everyone from its control.

(Needless to say, there’s a subtle town-wide identity crisis. Everyone has a decent idea of who they are, but they’ve spent years acting like caricatures of themselves and need to reground themselves a wee bit.)

But a lot of them set it aside as it dawns on them that maybe this was why Wally always seemed off. Maybe he knew about this but had been unable to say.

Maybe this was why he was missing.

Eventually, they manage to find him (with at least one of them piecing together that the invisible person they found was their missing resident) and the healing, for all of them, can finally start.

And that’s all I have so far. But I am gonna workshop more for this.

Invisible Wally AU: The main deets

Posted on July 16, 2023 by qkzgirl

WARNING!!! The content of this AU will get upsetting at times because I’m also explaining/exploring the root feelings that cause the Invisibility! So please be aware that there will be discussions of fear, depression, self-depreciation, un-reality, and emotional abuse/manipulation.

I usually have a pretty gentle hand when it comes to these topics, but they are still present.

Quick Explanation of the Invisibility before I get into the AU: In Moomins, they say that Invisibility is caused by being scared. The character who was invisible, a little girl named Ninny, had been in the care of her very mean/verbally cruel Aunt and turned invisible because of how awfully her aunt treated her. And it took the care/kindness of the Moomin family who wanted to both see and know her that got her to become visible again.

It’s very much an abuse victim reaction/mindset, but I don’t think it’s the only kind of “fear” that could cause invisibility.

As someone who went through a bout of depression in middle/high school and decided that I didn’t want to have people notice me, I tend to liken that “Fear” to it too.

Fear of being noticed or a bother to people around you that you care about (and plenty that you don’t even know). Fear of people you love growing to hate you/not want you around. Fear of being hurt again because the people around you won’t want to see or be around the “real” you if they saw it.

The invisibility isn’t just being unseen; nothing the person writes can be seen either, and they have no voice and can’t make sounds with instruments. It’s genuinely like they aren’t there EXCEPT: They’re still physical (able to touch and be touched) and they still cast a shadow.

With that done, let’s get into the au!

Invisible Wally AU:

First off; Wally starts as the only one in Home that’s Self-Aware, as such he’s carrying the brunt of the Audience’s attention, good and bad. (Technically, Home is also self-aware but it doesn’t get even half the weight of this as Wally does.)

For the entire day, when he’s outside Home (and even when he isn’t sometimes) he can feel the weight of the Audience’s gaze on his back and the pressing Need for everything to be perfect, all the time. From the styling of his hair to his clothes to the way he talks, everything has to be perfect. Perfectly in place and perfectly blank. No getting angry, no getting frustrated, no sadness, no wanting to be alone, not being able to say “No” when someone else wants to do something, nothing that wouldn’t be seen as “negative” in some form. Like the host of a Daytime TV show, he can’t be seen as anything but agreeable and willing to go along with anything he’s asked.

That feeling doesn’t leave until nightfall, quickly becoming the only time Wally feels like he can breathe and be himself.

Where he can groan in frustration, wrap himself in heavy blankets and lay on the floor in a heap, screaming into pillows and throwing them around, complain to Home about the tedium that’s driving him mad.

(He used to like bright colors, but now he hates them and wishes he could wear something, anything, else instead.)

After a while, he notes that he and Home seem to realize something is wrong. They’re the only ones to notice/feel this impossible pressure to always be “TV ready” as he’s started thinking of it. They just go through their days following the pre-decided, unspoken “schedule” that’s fallen over their neighborhood.

If anything, they seem happy with everything happening. (Perfectly Happy, even.)

And it’s wearing him down because when he tries to defy those Needs, he gets “punished” for it.

Trying to refuse to do something, like not going out for the day, makes his anxiety (which he did not have prior to this) spike wildly, driving him into a panic that usually forces him to follow the “plan” of the day. Trying to speak up makes his throat close up or for the wrong words to start spilling out. He can’t argue against something that someone else wants to do, even if he tried (and he has, on several occasions).

He feels trapped, and that this “Audience” doesn’t actually give a damn about him, just the entertainment he can act as a vehicle for.

They don’t want to hear what he thinks or feels, they don’t even want to see real him. Just the alternate “Perfect” version that follows their direction without voice or resistance. And that idea spreads, over time, until he wonders if his friends even care about the real him, or just the Perfect version that they’ve been interacting with.

These thoughts are what make him start to disappear, starting with his voice which grows fainter and fainter with each passing day. (And yet no one seems to notice how much quieter he is.)

When he starts to visibly fade from sight, Home tries to help by keeping him inside. They think that, if they can keep him out of the Audience’s view (even for just a little while) Wally will start to feel/get better.

Unfortunately, this isn’t as helpful as Home thinks it is.

“Leaving Home” is part of the schedule and not doing that trigger’s a “punishment” for Wally. He knows that Home was trying to help, but Home doesn’t feel the Audience’s displeasure the same way Wally did. Thankfully, “sick” days seem to allow some leeway, so he’s able to spend at least one day alone with just Home for company.

Then Home keeps him in another day, and then another, and another, until he’s spent almost a week inside Home instead of following the Script of the Day. (And suffering the punishments for not doing so) He feels like a miserable wreck, has probably cried a few times, and just…

He feels terrible.

But what makes it worse (in Wally’s mind) is the fact that none of his friends come looking for him.

He hadn’t seen or spoken to anyone in a week (other than Home), and yet no one came by to try and find out what was wrong. And Home hadn’t mentioned anyone trying to speak with them. It was like no one had even noticed that he wasn’t there.

And that thought stings. It hurts. It hurt much more than he’d thought it could.

(He had hoped that had been real, on some level. That they cared about HIM and not the Perfect him. Maybe he’d been wrong…)

He goes to bed that night with an aching heart and climbs out the next morning completely invisible and completely silent.

Home, of course, is panicked. They had seen him fading, slowing vanishing before their eyes but there had been nothing they could do. They hadn’t been able to stop it, all they could do was curse the Audience for starting all of this.

Strangely though, there’s relief. The Audience can’t see him anymore and, though he can feel their displeasure at not being able to find him, he can’t feel a “punishment” taking hold of him. He still feels miserable, but it feels like a tremendous weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He can’t be forced to follow the script if no one can see him, he can do what he wants, go where he liked, and no one would be able to stop him.

(But there was nowhere he wanted to go, few things he wanted to do. He had the options, but no drive to follow them through…)

Through a bit of trial and error, the two build a new “normal”.

They figure out that, while he can’t be seen or heard, Home can still feel where Wally is and, if he taps on things using the same morse code that Home uses, they can still “Talk” to each other. Which soothes some of Home’s fears, since they now know where he is and can still check on him.

It takes a bit for them to figure out the other details of this strange situation. Like how far the invisibility extends.

Whatever Wally wears/puts on will turn invisible too, and the stuff he takes off will turn visible again after a while. He finds clothes in muted colors at the back of his wardrobe and ends up making them his “standard” clothes while in this state. No one but he and Home know they’re there, but the control it gives him helps his mood a bit. It was nice knowing that he wasn’t letting himself be completely controlled by the Need to be Perfect anymore.

What ends up distressing Wally the most is that he can’t seem to paint anymore. When he tries to put paint on canvas, it’s as invisible as he is. As an artist (and as someone who just enjoyed painting) this was understandably upsetting since painting had been one of the few outlets he had for his feelings.

He spends a lot of his time puttering around and wrestling with his emotions and the situation he’s found himself in.

Of course, that’s just Wally’s side of things.

What Do We Use??

Posted on June 1, 2023 by qkzgirl
What Do We Use??

With so many monsters out there, it’s hard to remember what works for which ones.

Can’t blame poor Gloria for getting confused.

If it wasn’t obvious, I’ve been experimenting with makiTikToktok videos. They’re a lot harder than they look. Especially lipsyncs.

You have to remember to keep pace with the timing, look like you’re the one talking, to not just stand in the frame, don’t watch yourself moving around, and make sure to move/use any props you’re using!

It’s hard and there are more moving parts than you think there are.

(This character is named “Gloria Ottulie” by the way! She’s a Great Mountain Harpy and a Fighter.)

Ren-Fun at the Renfaire

Posted on May 26, 2023 by qkzgirl

So, I found out roughly two weeks ago now that there’s actually a Renaissance fair near(ish) where I live! Obviously, I had to go check it out!

It was the New Hampshire Renaissance (site here for anyone who wants to check it out) and ran for two weekends in a row. I missed the Saturdays for both thanks to work, but I got to visit both Sundays! For the second one, I went in a costume of my own for a character I’ve been working on for silly skits and potential convention costume purposes.

In fact, here’s the costume!

Allow me to introduce Gloria Ottulie, the Great Mountain Harpy!

A friendly, adventuring harpy who’s always up for meeting her fellow explorers and adventurers. And willing to share her own shinies when she comes across anyone who doesn’t have their own.

Most of the pieces for this outfit I already owned, but some I picked up at the Renfaire itself the previous weekend! Her get-up may go through some further changes as I expand on my skills and her story, but I like what I have for her so far.

I’ve been wanting to make a Harpy character for a while ever since I bought an amazing wig from the Magnificent Miss Twisted. (The ears move!!!)

Now That I have the “base” I fully play to add more to it, like cosplay props and so on.

The whole event was a ton of fun and I’m looking forward to more now that I know it’s out there!

Holiday Shopping

Posted on November 11, 2022 by qkzgirl

Since the Holidays are coming up, I want to remind people that I have stuff to sell!!

First is the shop created by my dad, who then handed it over to me. https://www.zazzle.com/store/tkepner/products

My own horde of products that I’ve made over on Zazzle. https://www.zazzle.com/store/qrkepners_merch/products

And my Redbubble shop! Which has fun stickers and such! http://RoseBloodCat.redbubble.com

Primitive Technology

Posted on September 1, 2022 by qkzgirl

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAL3JXZSzSm8AlZyD3nQdBA

For anyone trying to write a story about someone having to work with primitive tools or struggling to survive in the wilderness; here’s a cool channel about the use and creation of tools and shelters that you may need!

It’s cool! And a good reminder that being clever is one of the greatest tools that mankind had. Even in the far past.

Otome Games are not My Scene, but I Love the Idea of Mocking Them

Posted on August 26, 2022 by qkzgirl

I’m considering writing a story (a novel, specifically) that’s a satire about Otome/Dating games. Inspired by a book I’ve been reading that’s been pointing out flaws in stuff that happens in those games. (It’s called “Accomplishments of the Duke’s Daughter”. It’s a good novel.)

A Girl wakes up in the world of a Fantasy Otome game that she HATES. But she’s a (male!) side character and therefore free of the game’s main “plot”. (The glimpses of the world it was set in sounded amazing, and she hadn’t been allowed to see ANY OF IT.)

She loves adventure games more than anything else but had originally been tricked by a friend into playing the game. (She’s got very little interest in romance. At all.) She had been told that it was a cool fantasy adventure game, with guilds and dungeons and monsters.

The anger she felt when she played and discovered that she never actually got to tackle any of those challenges was REAL.

She played through every story, but not because she’d grown to like it. She played them all out of SPITE so she could thoroughly nitpick and lambast it as revenge against the friend who was making her play it. And now she’s in the game, itself.

So she’s decided that she’s gonna do all the cool, fun things she was never able to do before.

And, since she’s a guy now (and a pretty broke one at that), there is NO PRESSURE on her to do the stuff she has no interest in. No one is telling her to do more “feminine” work. Or treating her like she’s too frail for adventure. Or trying to make her find romance to be a “proper” woman.

No, she’s a guy and allowed to be messy and pick up weapons and travel around at night by herself.

And she is there for it.

Honestly, finding all kinds of stuff to dismantle and make fun of for these games is fun. If anyone else has thoughts on stuff they love/hate/know are not how things would actually work in an Otome game, send them my way!!

Ganon-Centric Story Idea

Posted on August 16, 2022 by qkzgirl

I have no idea whether this would be a game idea or a fanfic that someone could write someday, but I think the idea of some kind of Redemption story for Ganondorf could be really interesting to tackle.

I have had this idea in my brain for years, ever since I read a fic on FF dot net called “Cry for Hyrule”. I thought it was a really cool story, and did a good job of making Ganondorf a more nuanced character without handwaving the bad things he’d done in the past. Or trying to reframe the goddesses/spirits as evil, hateful beings who don’t actually care about the people they’re supposed to be helping/protecting.

(It also tackled some logic problems in the game it was mostly focused on, like Link being thrown in over his head so often. Or the trees the Koroks were planting to lower the waters always dying despite raising Hyrule being one of Ganondorf’s goals. This was a Wind Waker fic, btw)

I’ve always believed that people aren’t born evil, not even as the result of a curse. Which makes thinking about Ganondorf’s original motives and fall from grace really interesting for me.

He could have, at one time, had very good intentions and reasons for his actions. But then Demise’s Curse over Hyrule took those intentions and twisted them until they became unrecognisable.

Reincarnation exists in the Zelda-verse, even if it’s more of a Vishnu style incarnation/avatar situation rather than a full rebirth.

A reincarnation story built around Ganondorf himself could be really cool. And him working to redeem himself of his past actions could be a deeply moving game/story. With him trying to prove/separate himself from the actions of his past life and prove himself as a skilled/capable King of the Gerudo.

Or maybe the evil was scrubbed off from his soul enough to return him (at least partially) to the person he’d been before the curse Twisted him, and looking back at his past actions horrifies/disgists him. I mean, he’s constantly being wallopped with sacred and/or blessed weapons. The idea that, at some point, those could scrape off the evil to bring back the person he used to be seems possible. Or it being done intentionally as some kind of “weaken the bad guy by turning him back to before he got the evil power boost” type of plan.

And this change is enough that the Tri-force goddesses (or maybe even the mystery goddess the Gerudo worshipped back in OoT) are willing to give him a chance. A chance to prove himself. The chance to clean the rest of the evil away. The chance to prove he really is worthy of their blessing.

I think it would be a really cool story to read/play through. And it could be a great chance to expand Ganondorf’s personality and to explore more of the Gerudo’s culture.

I have to admit, the chance to play as Ganondorf in a jrpg type of game would be fascinating. (Maybe one of those ones with a settlement/kingdom builder thing too… For him trying to prove he really is a good leader/kind.)

Or one of those branching storyline games, the sort with more than one ending that you get to by making different desicions in game. Good, Neutral, and Bad endings based on choices you make.

God, the more I talk about this, the more I want it…

(For fanfic, the idea of a story or a crossover where Ganondorf is trying to redeem himself by building a new settlement somewhere or trying to help a hero as part of his redemption could be really good.)

(I don’t know why my brain keeps chucking Naruto at me, but him accidentally kidnapping a little Naruto because of how much he looks like the brat who finally stopped/killed him and then raising/training him could be fun. Maybe the goal Ganon thinks he’s supposed to be fulfilling is finding a place to build a new Kingdom to make up for the one he annilated/raised to the ground, but no. It’s raising this Prophecy child to do better than he would if left to his own devices.)

(Okay, I am done rambling about all this now. Please, someone either make/write this, or help me figure out enough to at least start writing it.)

PLA and LoZ: Matwilo

Posted on June 7, 2022 by qkzgirl

Just because I feel like talking about OCs today, I’ve decided to bust out the one I came up with (and dug very deep into) while first playing Pokemon Legends Arceus. Since I, like every Nintendo player at the time, made the connection of it being like BotW. Because of that, I made him based around the idea of writing a crossover (kinda) with him.

His name is Matwilo and he’s a Gerudo. But despite being the sole male born in his generation, he is NOT the King. And the tribe he was born to live in the Unova Desert. (This will make sense in a second I promise.)

The Gerudo in Unova are survivors of the Great Flood. (aka the Adult timeline for Legend of Zelda. The same timeline as Winwaker, Phantom Hourglass, and Spirit Tracks.)

They managed to escape drowning thanks to the prophetic warning given by the goddesses, though they were separated from a large number of their fellow tribeswomen. (At least, many hoped they had all just been separated and not, well, I’m sure you can guess the alternative.) The flash floods and torrential rains frightened them all but they’d managed to survive them.

However, they quickly realized that there was something wrong with the seas. Eventually, some of the braver women took a chance and dove below the surface of the waters. And, in doing so, they figured out what the problem was.

There were no plants beneath the waves, the land was completely barren. Just like the mesa’s they’d climbed to escape the rising waters.

If there were no plants, then there was nothing for sea animals to eat. Sea animals wouldn’t go to any place where there was no food. And if there were no animals, there would be nothing for their tribe to eat either. And the mesa top’s soil quality was too low to grow food on. And even if they could, there wasn’t enough room for their tribe to live off of for very long.

Simply put, they couldn’t stay there if they wanted to survive. And the same went for the other races of Hyrule.

But the Gerudo were already somewhat nomadic (despite the presence of their Fortress/Tower), so they were unfazed by the idea of packing up and leaving everything behind. Something that wasn’t true for the other races, who were all very anchored to their homes and wouldn’t leave them easily.

So they built a ship from the little wood/supplies they had and could get their hands on and went looking for a place to settle down and build a new life and lifestyle for their daughters.

(Yes, they do the pirate thing for a bit. They collect treasure, improve their ship, and get better supplies. Not to mention build a new well of tricks and skills for their culture to thrive on.)

During a serious storm, one that could have potentially sunk them, they (unknowingly) traveled through a portal that brought them to the coast of Unova, right on the edge of the desert.

Seeing a place that was so much like their lost home, but now with the good things from their sea travels and the best things about being by the sea as well, they settled there right away and quickly established a new home for themselves. (Full set up! Fishing, smithing, farming, anything and everything to make a stable life for them all.)

They later connected with the Kingdoms to the north and built trade routes (and neutrality should their wars ever start up again. (Or if they were happening at the time?)) Also to help ensure future Gerudo tribe members. They kind of intimidated the Kingdoms when they first met, since they were trained warriors and were practically armed to the teeth, but the fear/worry is eased by the openness/friendliness the Gerudo presented.

(Being hostile/isolated was one of the things that hurt them so badly in the Flood and with Hyrule in general, so they were trying to shed that by opening themselves up to outsiders more.)

Fast forward to the Modern Era of Unova, where the Gerodo have become widespread and no one thinks twice about them.

(They also still maintain their traditions, including intense survival and combat training from a young age and teaching all their children how to pick locks and get out of traps/bindings without issue.)

Matwilo was the first son born to the tribes in centuries, but they no-one had a need/place for a King anymore. (They used a Cheif-system now, one that was earned by the potential Cheif’s own merits and not by a birthright.) So he was raised as just another member of the tribes, aside from some special training he’s given based on the few remaining knowledge of things a male Gerudo needed to know/be able to do. (Mostly magic and combat stuff their ancestors managed to write down before they could be forgotten.)

Matwilo lives at home on a smallish Equine Pokemon Ranch with his mother (who has very poor health) and a few of his Aunts and cousins. He never went on his “official” Pokemon journey, choosing to forgo it to help his family around the ranch instead. The only Pokemon he has are a Mudbray gifted to him by a cousin and a Yamask he caught in the sands.

And he’s perfectly happy with all of that.

Until, one rainy night, he wakes to (what he’s sure is) the sound of a strange voice calling his name.

He grabs his hunting knife from its spot on his bedside table, lets out his yamask, and creeps out to investigate.

If asked, he’ll never be able to say what happened next, just that the next thing he could remember was waking up on a strange beach with a professor he’d never seen or heard of before asking him if he was alive and a trio of Pokemon hovering nearby.

‘This can’t be right,’ Matwilo thought to himself. ‘Hyrulians are the ones who’re supposed to get kidnapped for Godly missions. Not Gerudo!‘

Anyway, that’s the base of the idea! Please comment or ask if you want to know more! (Please send me asks and comments about this. I have spent WAY too much time world building about this so I could write it before I was consumed by Sningo stuff. Give me the chance to babble about it!! Like how I got Matwilo’s name!)